is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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