Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
