can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
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