I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
