that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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