okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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