i think i have two assholes
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
