whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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