If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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