remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
