i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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