Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize