I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
