Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize