and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
