so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
