someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Is it because I queefed?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize