i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize