i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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