In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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