I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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