I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
