i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
