were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
