You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
