His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
