We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
