So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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