update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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