so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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