So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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