i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
