I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
