I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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