Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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