i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
