would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
