Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Randomize
