Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
