once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
She's just so happy...and so naked.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
