please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
