Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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