Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize