she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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