3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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