Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
