return my video game
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
