My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
