What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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