Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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