whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize