May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
