i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
