Texts From Last Night

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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.

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  (612): I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school. http://tfl.nu/cnqq
  Replies (88) Good night (1111) Bad night (11306)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.

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  (803): worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week. http://tfl.nu/ib48
  Replies (28) Good night (811) Bad night (3236)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.

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  (606): how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked. http://tfl.nu/j1kr
  Replies (20) Good night (1269) Bad night (4860)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"

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  (214): I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?" http://tfl.nu/quj5
  Replies (15) Good night (7434) Bad night (1010)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it

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  (606): I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it http://tfl.nu/8mat
  Replies (6) Good night (2931) Bad night (1159)
• Favorite

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.

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  (985): My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day. http://tfl.nu/xzll
  Replies (26) Good night (5268) Bad night (2471)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn

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  (303): its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn http://tfl.nu/fhqp
  Replies (12) Good night (2956) Bad night (1375)
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  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life

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  (+64): the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life http://tfl.nu/95hw
  Replies (2) Good night (1150) Bad night (342)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!

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  (573): Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica! http://tfl.nu/ntrd
  Replies (1) Good night (1169) Bad night (401)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS

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  (337): YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS http://tfl.nu/mfo9
  Replies (7) Good night (611) Bad night (353)
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  (650): View more from California

  I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.

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  (650): I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me. http://tfl.nu/3m36
  Replies (3) Good night (472) Bad night (799)
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  (562): View more from California

  I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.

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  (562): I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom. http://tfl.nu/o8ix
  Replies (2) Good night (361) Bad night (721)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.

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  (561): It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him. http://tfl.nu/0htu
  Replies (2) Good night (370) Bad night (667)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.

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  (508): Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery. http://tfl.nu/69lt
  Replies (0) Good night (572) Bad night (307)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.

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  (206): I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer. http://tfl.nu/vcs6
  Replies (6) Good night (556) Bad night (129)

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