Texts From Last Night

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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.

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  (952): I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it. http://tfl.nu/soz7
  Replies (3) Good night (1240) Bad night (488)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.

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  (662): My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room. http://tfl.nu/yex2
  Replies (5) Good night (1615) Bad night (874)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!

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  (413): DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!! http://tfl.nu/zcda
  Replies (15) Good night (5211) Bad night (565)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before

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  (609): So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before http://tfl.nu/fve5
  Replies (24) Good night (904) Bad night (10806)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".

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  (306): So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation". http://tfl.nu/h2mq
  Replies (85) Good night (3588) Bad night (40189)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.

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  (781): he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where. http://tfl.nu/dvsr
  Replies (3) Good night (3388) Bad night (1345)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear

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  (630): And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear http://tfl.nu/df24
  Replies (12) Good night (1659) Bad night (751)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?

  (319): View more from Iowa

  will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?

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  (612): So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me? (319): will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls? http://tfl.nu/9asz
  Replies (3) Good night (415) Bad night (979)
• Favorite

  (575): View more from New Mexico

  Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.

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  (575): Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them. http://tfl.nu/kglo
  Replies (7) Good night (534) Bad night (914)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.

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  (509): Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option. http://tfl.nu/ikne
  Replies (3) Good night (438) Bad night (337)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.

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  (815): i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar. http://tfl.nu/c912
  Replies (5) Good night (522) Bad night (355)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.

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  (907): Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again. http://tfl.nu/nki8
  Replies (5) Good night (701) Bad night (296)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground

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  (314): Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground http://tfl.nu/k9yg
  Replies (1) Good night (425) Bad night (307)
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  (230): View more from

  Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.

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  (230): Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success. http://tfl.nu/u50l
  Replies (1) Good night (766) Bad night (359)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something

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  (703): If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something http://tfl.nu/ij26
  Replies (1) Good night (375) Bad night (334)

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