I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want