What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.