I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.