Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(402): View more from Nebraska

she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(402): she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook. http://tfl.nu/e703

Replies (9) Good night (1323) Bad night (5406)
Favorite
(208): View more from Idaho

Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(208): Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge. http://tfl.nu/9q10

Replies (24) Good night (4115) Bad night (669)
Favorite
(213): View more from California

Her brother is deaf.

(214): View more from Texas

no wonder she was so good with her hands

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(213): Her brother is deaf. (214): no wonder she was so good with her hands http://tfl.nu/zbzq

Replies (6) Good night (5607) Bad night (1133)
Favorite
(575): View more from New Mexico

Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(575): Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits. http://tfl.nu/8qqe

Replies (7) Good night (2047) Bad night (758)
Favorite
(859): View more from Kentucky

i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(859): i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex http://tfl.nu/qgsg

Replies (9) Good night (2597) Bad night (823)
Favorite
(917): View more from New York City

All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(917): All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come. http://tfl.nu/y4z2

Replies (3) Good night (1269) Bad night (666)
Favorite
(425): View more from Washington

You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(425): You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia. http://tfl.nu/758u

Replies (7) Good night (1821) Bad night (525)
Favorite
(316): View more from Kansas

You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(316): You're always so generous when it comes to your dick. http://tfl.nu/6xho

Replies (3) Good night (1213) Bad night (558)
Favorite
(505): View more from New Mexico

did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(505): did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy? http://tfl.nu/wq3k

Replies (3) Good night (862) Bad night (582)
Favorite
(912): View more from Georgia

He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(912): He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five http://tfl.nu/n789

Replies (3) Good night (1204) Bad night (418)
Favorite
(217): View more from Illinois

Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(217): Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest http://tfl.nu/6z1q

Replies (3) Good night (869) Bad night (420)
Favorite
(206): View more from Washington

Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(206): Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning. http://tfl.nu/yefg

Replies (2) Good night (876) Bad night (446)
Favorite
(703): View more from Virginia

Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor

(703): View more from Virginia

Who is also still dressed up as a pirate

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(703): Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor (703): Who is also still dressed up as a pirate http://tfl.nu/yo9o

Replies (5) Good night (542) Bad night (473)
Favorite
(407): View more from Florida

I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(407): I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent http://tfl.nu/qh18

Replies (3) Good night (388) Bad night (527)
Favorite
(618): View more from Illinois

I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(618): I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night http://tfl.nu/cx13

Replies (2) Good night (556) Bad night (217)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard