I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
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