Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
