i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
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