Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
