All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
dude i'm inner monologue high
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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